| I hate how broke I am right now...I absolutely hate being the person who says I can't do something, because I don't have enough money. A friend of mine keeps trying to get me to go to lunch with her. I'm embarrassed to tell her that I honestly can't afford to go with her right now. I know it won't be super expensive or anything, but this month I haven't even been able to make enough money to cover all of my bills (mostly because I had to buy books and pay for classes for this semester)...and I don't want to put more than I have to on my credit card. It may take me a couple of months to catch up, so I'm trying not to spend money on anything that I don't absolutely have to. I know my friend would understand (or at least pretend to), but I've always been annoyed by people who use the excuse they don't have enough money for things (especially when it's something inexpensive). Sigh... |
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| Thus far 2009 has been better than 2008. It was one year ago today that I found out that my father had cancer...the cancer that led to his death a little over 2 months later. It's still difficult to comprehend. Anyhow, I probably just jinxed myself and 2009...something horrible might happen tomorrow that will make me long for the days of 2008. I think I'm going to knock on some wood... |
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| I am so confused and torn. I hate even writing about him in here like this, but since no one even reads it, what does it matter, right? I'm really struggling with how I want to handle the Dustin situation. Should I wait around and hope that everything just works out? Or should I move on with my life? If I do decide that I should move on, that means that I definitely need to stop talking to him. I can't get over him if I'm talking to him a couple times a week, but the thought of not having him in my life at all physically makes me ill. He's my best friend, and the person I want to call immediately after anything happens. There are days when I feel like I'm completely ready to give him up...then he calls me, and it's the highlight of my week. I hate how I've never even come close to caring about someone as much as him...it would be easier if I had any hope of ever loving someone that much. He is the only guy I've ever liked when he actually really liked me back. Usually I lose all interest when a guy shows that he's just as interested as I am. I've always enjoyed the chase, but it was different with him...so much better in every way. Sorry to anyone who read this...I know I sound pathetic. That's probably because I am. |
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| I am so miserable right now. |
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| I can't sleep...and I miss my boyfriend. Ugh. I also need a job. My life is pretty exciting, eh? |
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